Loving: A Novel By Corin Hughs

Does Motherhood Put My Life on Hold?

“I feel like I didn’t do anything today. Yet, I’m exhausted and I’m going to do it all over again tomorrow. And the next day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful. I love being a mom and I wouldn’t trade it. But I just wish I was more than I feel like I am. I mean, who am I?”

Have you ever had these feelings?

My friends and I have had similar conversations over the years. As moms, we can feel our lives and dreams are on hold. Not in a begrudging way, just matter-of-fact.

Yet, deep down there still exists a girl who deeply desires purpose, who wants to make a difference in this world.

There was a time when we all dreamt of being world changers, wasn’t there? When we joyfully scooped up trash from our school playground and declared a wretched, “litter bug” left it there – those horrible litter bugs! We were going to come up with a method that would make litter obsolete. We’d be famous for our world changing community service!

Your dream may not have been to eradicate litter, but you DID have a dream. Do you remember that dream?

If you feel like motherhood has put your dreams on hold, and while you are thankful to be a mom, you wonder “if there’s more,” you need to know that you are NOT alone! If you wonder if there’s more to life, more to you, more to everything, you’re one of many.

Moms, it may feel like we’ve put “world changer” on hold for the title of “diaper changer!”

Between the pressures I apply to myself and those I feel are thrown at me from others, I not only lose sight of my dreams, but I question my purpose.

My days are filled with self-sacrifice. I’m a stay at home mom with three young children. Currently, I’m also a hormonal crazy mama (admitted) about to deliver our fourth child in a few weeks. I don’t sleep through the night, I need to boast myself up from the couch while my stomach muscles take a vacation and although I envision complete days where I don’t lose my patience a single time OR raise my voice a single time, this rarely happens.

Through all this, I sometimes wonder: Am I doing this mom thing “right?” If so, shouldn’t I feel fulfilled all the time?

Yes, my days are sacrificial BUT, if I’m totally honest, my worries are quite “me-focused,” aren’t they?

Our purpose is not to live for ourselves or pursue “our” dreams. It’s our tendency and constant temptation, but doing so is like chasing the wind.

While these dreams may be well intentioned to positively impact others, they ultimately cast US (you or me) as the main character.

God designs us each with special gifts, interests and passions, and He plans for us to use those to accomplish HIS dream, not pursue our dream. Because His dream is better for us than ours.

His dream is for us to be content in all situations, to find purpose amidst struggle, to rely on Him moment by moment and to even feel a little misplaced on Earth because He knows it’s not our permanent Home. He dreams we will seek Him for answers, read His Word to hear His voice and trust Him to guide us.

His dream is that we see ourselves as part of a mission that is bigger than ourselves. His dream has NO holding patterns. His dream has purpose at every turn and He has faith in us to “press on toward the goal.”

When our dream is to live the life which God has called us to, the details of HOW begin to fade. We trade tomorrow’s worry for focus on today. We fail, wipe our hands and get back in the game. Because God has a dream – a plan – for me and you TODAY.

Pursuing this dream daily will fulfill me more than anything I could contrive on my own.

Pursuit of any dream requires a leap of faith.

Pursuit of THE DREAM is faith.

Moms, you ARE doing something important and meaningful today.

Know it. Own it. Live it. Trust God with it. Don’t second guess it. You are blessed as a mom and you are a blessing to your family. No one can replace you. God chose you for this. You are important. Needed. Purposeful.perfect for our kids

Intentionally find people to remind you of this. We NEED others to remind us of these truths because, in my experience, we STINK at telling ourselves this. We beat ourselves up more than anyone else. We convince ourselves we aren’t good enough or we are doing things wrong. We desperately seek books to give us all the answers in how to raise our children. Well-meaning, expert authors offer helpful tips and advice. I am thankful for these resources. I apply many of these principles I’ve read in parenting books. BUT when these tips fail, we blame ourselves.

STOP!

You are important, Mama. More important than you may feel in a week where you haven’t showered or spoken to an adult in uninterrupted conversation.

Motherhood is hard. It’s unpredictable.

Maybe this journey of motherhood is just one way God teaches us more about Him because following Jesus is hard, too, isn’t it (or at least it should be if we’re really following Him)? I cannot think of a more productive way to spend a day than by learning more about God. I see God in my children’s’ faces, hear Him in their innocent, uncensored questions and repeat His teachings to them as I try to raise them to be loving, compassionate people.

When you feel like you’re life is on hold or feel like you didn’t accomplish anything worthwhile, read this! Let God and honest, encouraging friends remind you of your value. You ARE doing something important. Everyday. Keep at it!

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